Dear Abby: Guilt keeps wife in wedding to man battling with PTSD

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DEAR ABBY: i have already been hitched to my better half for 17 years. After many years, we recognized he previously some depression problems. 10 years ago, after he had been identified as having PTSD, he stopped working and has now been in the home from the time.

We work full-time, settle the bills, care for the young kids, run the errands, drop the children off at training, clean your house, every thing! He does absolutely absolutely nothing but rest. He remains during intercourse for several days at a time and showers once weekly. We now haven’t slept within the exact same room in 5 years.

I’m so lonely. We hate being hitched to him, and I’m perhaps perhaps not sure exactly how their depression impacts my young ones. He takes medication but will not notice a specialist. I would like to keep while having a life. Personally I think stuck in this wedding away from guilt. just exactly What do i actually do? — HAD IT IN KENTUCKY

DEAR HAD IT: Make a consultation on your own with an authorized health that is mental to talk about your position along with your shame. Please repeat this just before have psychological or real breakdown through the stress you might be under.

While we sympathize together with your husband’s psychological dilemmas, the truth that he will not do all they can to fix them tells me it’s time to care for yourself — for your children’s sake — as you are typical they usually have. Since your husband’s meds are no longer working, he must have mentioned that fact years back to your medical practitioner that has been prescribing them.

DEAR ABBY: For the friend’s birthday, we delivered a $150 food distribution present card, saying to place it toward dishes once I visited for 3 days the week that is following. He called, explained I had been “cheap” and said it had been maybe maybe not a “gift” if it included cash that might be allocated to myself.

Our company is brand brand new friends and also have never ever exchanged gift ideas. Please assist me realize if I became improper. — MEANT PERFECTLY IN UTAH

DEAR MEANT WELL: You made a mistake that is honest. But, that which you did was less improper than the new friend’s ungracious reaction, that was simply ordinary insulting. In the next gift-giving occasion — if you should be nevertheless friends — send him a guide on etiquette, simply for him.

DEAR ABBY: a trip is being planned by me to go to my buddy in England. We learned abroad 2 yrs ago, and I’m excited to go back to my old stomping grounds and reminisce.

We got very near to this buddy while I happened to be here, and now we talk on Facebook from time to time. Demonstrably, due to the distance, we aren’t close friends, but we nevertheless think about ourselves “trans-Atlantic siblings.”

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I’m on quite a tight budget and wish to start preparing for costs. Wouldn’t it be rude to inquire about her if i could stick with her? Or can I simply require suggested statements on places to keep and discover if she provides? — TOURIST IN TEXAS

DEAR TRAVELER: whilst it wouldn’t be rude to inquire of, we vote for the latter option and discover if she implies it. (She will probably.)

Abigail Van Buren

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